NFL Update: The Hairy Face of the Franchise

I left you last night with a surprising statistic regarding Kyle Orton's success on the field versus the San Fran 49'ers. The surprising statistic was that Kyle Orton was successful on the field. What can account for this is anyones guess: newlywed bliss, a new hedge trimmer for his face, signing an endorsement deal with Jack Daniel's, it will probably remain a mystery.

Orton completed 10-of-17 passes for 147 yards, and even put two passes in the end zone in an almost athletic fashion. The kicker is that Orton was moving around the field in a slightly more coordinated drunken stumble, showing us that maybe he cut down on his evenings ending in blackouts from 7 nights to...probably 6. He had much less of that whiskey bloat he has become so beloved for...leading me to believe that perhaps he has engaged in some exercise, but I cannot confirm.

It needs to be said that Kyle Orton has given us hope that perhaps the NFC North is NOT a place where quarterbacks go to die...they grasp to the last strings of life like a baby bird who has broken a wing. Bravo senor Orton.

"Bears’ Orton Actually Played Well - No, Seriously" [SportsByBrooks]

"Orton Shines Like a Single Malt Whiskey" [NFL Juice]